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Law Student Barbie


Thursday, May 04, 2006

More Study Avoidance -- Who Own's The Fish?

If you can answer this puzzle, then you might be as smart as Einstein. As I did it, I realized Einstein definitely helped create the logic games of the LSAT. E-mail me if you want the answer: lawstudentbarbie@yahoo.com

There are 5 houses in 5 different colors. 

In each house lives a man with a different nationality. 

The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. 

No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same beverage.

The question is: "Who owns the fish?"


The Brit lives in the red house.

The Swede keeps dogs as pets.

The Dane drinks tea.

The green house is on the left of the white house.

The green house's owner drinks coffee.

The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.

The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.

The man living in the center house drinks milk.

The Norwegian lives in the first house.

The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.

The man who keeps the horse lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.

The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.

The German smokes Prince. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.

The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Ways to Avoid Studying For Finals

1. Check your apartment lease for the provision that details any redecorating fee. Evaluate the consequences of a color change. Decide that when you move out you will be making an attorney's salary. Drive to Sherwin Williams and pick out paint. Paint living room while making a mental note to do the bedroom next.

2. Clean your carpet. Clean your baseboards. Clean the oven. Clean behind the dryer. Wash the windows. Clean the ceiling fan. Water your plants (you know, that once a semester drink)

3. Create a new workout plan that you will never stick to (especially when finals are over). Try out new gyms on a trial basis.

4. Make lasagna (including the noodles) from scratch. No time like the present to learn to be a world class chef.

5. Learn the art of Sudoku and Finish a New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle.

6. Read your cell phone instruction manual. Program your VCR. Reorganize your personal files.

7. Clean out your closet and hold a garage sale.

8. Watch the entire last season of "Friends". Watch all six seasons of "Sex and the City". Watch all of the "Star Wars" movies. Watch the entire "Rocky" series. Read "A Tale of Two Cities". Read the Bible.

9. Write your Christmas list. Start your Christmas shopping, you'll save money and be done by Halloween.

10. Count the number of days until you graduate from Law School. I graduate in 249 days, 20 hours, 2 minutes, and 48 seconds.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Remember You Have to Undergo a Fitness Exam To Take the Bar

1. Perhaps you've noticed that class composites are kept for long periods of time (ie those black and white ones were not taken when black and white film came back for a few years in the early 90s)...therefore when circumscribing your title try to avoid such titles as: Civ Pro Fellow, Junior Secretary to the Law Students For Underwater Basket Weaving Organization, Member of PETA, MILF, Law School Pimp, Professional Cheerleader, etc.

2. Again with the composites, dress to impress. Remember you can go into the photographer's office instead of taking a chance with the understairwell snap shot.

3. My law school e-mail account is not a forum for childish rants amongst 20 people who can't agree on the issue of whether we are all immigrants and everyone and their dog should be able to cross the border and stay as long as they want. If you see fit to have an obnoxious conversation that no one needs 20 emails a day about start a blog. Or here is a novel thought, have an open forum and argue face to face like they did ten years ago when you couldn't hide behind a computer.

4. Beware your classmates will someday be your colleagues whether you like it or not. So, if you want to act like a pompous a-hole I suggest practicing law in Alaska. For the record, firms do ask their clerks what they think about students they are interviewing. If this is an "ah ha" moment for you, you can now stop wondering why you do not have a job.

5. For the record, sending out an April Fool's Day "joke" e-mail to the entire school (including administration) that suggests that the school's worry over declining numbers and rankings has caused the school to change it's name in shame that makes it into local media is probably not a good way to get your name out.

6. Along with number 5, do not go out of your way to be quoted in any sort of local media while in law school. You are a law student and you don't know your a** from your face regarding legal reality, therefore no one cares about your opinion and you look like the class dunce.

7. If within the first or second week of the class you realize you don't know who the gunner is, surprise, it's you.

8. Being late to every class would not be a good way to get a professor to write a reccomendation for you. In addition, those parking tickets you are racking up as a result of being tardy and not being able to find a spot must be disclosed on your bar exam. That should make for an interesting explanation.

9. Never be the jerk that writes a letter to the dean because your professor had to cancel a class and didn't schedule a make-up class. And, never be the jerk who asks for the attendance sheet after class is over, you just created a huge riot to sign in and you just screwed anyone who was getting a get out of jail free card...they got lucky, you are not superior because you were prudent.

10. If you intend to write about prudent and rational people on the bar exam it would be appropriate to conduct oneself in such a way.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Response to Inquiries Re Law School Prom

1. Don't worry...I have zero desire to run for office. It was just a suggestion.

2. Is law school prom worth it? I'll let you decide: (The following are of course optional expenses)

Dress -- borrowed from 14 year old sister
Sunglasses -- borrowed from friend who wore them to prom
Ticket -- $50
Alcohol -- Open Bar
Hair -- $50
Manicure -- $35
Pedicure -- $45

Actually enjoying time with your law school friends...Priceless.

3. Schmoozing...For me it's inherent, I grew up with adults so I've never really been afraid to look someone in the eye and have a conversation. For those who may be challenged you could pick your favorite childhood cartoon character and focus on trying to mimic them, or if that fails I suggest watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Remember even if you don't like someone you can pretend that they are your favorite movie star. I find the imagination works wonders. Just remember be your surface level self, smile, nod your head as if you are engaged, laugh at jokes (even when not funny) and humor always breaks down a wall of ice.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Law School Prom

In case the picture doesn't say it all...Lessons from Barrister's ball.

1. When attending law school prom remember that you are not the only person there who attended for the open bar...don't leave the bar without at least one drink in each hand.

2. You will have the rest of your life to wear black when you actually become a barrister...

3. French braids should not be worn (especially with interwoven curling ribbon) past the age of 9 or after 1990.

4. 80s bangs, believe it or not, went out in the 80s...please refer to the above 1990 rule.

5. Only sit at tables near the dean and faculty at your own risk.

6. If you plan to run for congress later in life you should consider not attending...pictures are worth a 1000 words...apparently I will not be running.

7. Wearing a white dress should be reserved for your wedding day.

8. If you choose to wear white and you don't look like Nicole Kidman at the Academy Awards, please choose a girdle...your classmates will thank you.

9. If you are prone to spilling drink clear liquids.

10. Silk is a klingy material...make sure your fabric works with you not against you.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ode To My Final Brief

In Honor of My Last Law School Brief and in the Spirit of Procrastination I created the following Composition:

To The Tune of "I Wish I Were An Oscar Mayer Weiner"

Oh I wish my brief was finally finished,

That is what I'd truly like to see.

Because if my brief was finally finished,

Everyone would have a drink with me.

Although it was a photo finish...I successfully managed to procrastinate until nearly the last minute and yet lose very little Beauty Rest. The brief may suck...but the formatting is impeccable (another good procrastination technique I've found).

Sunday, February 12, 2006